Friday Fictioneers: Witches and Why Not To Date Them.

Mum said never go on dates with witches.

They always order really odd food and tell unfunny/unsettling stories.

When you meet their family you find their father is cast in bronze, mounted on the wall and never stops laughing and saying ‘I’m with stupid,’ while inevitably pointing at you.

They keep weird pets like salamanders and little Scottish men in cages.

And they’re impossible to break up with.

You try and let them down gently and they kick you through a window. Say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ and they swap your brains to check.

Should have listened to mum.

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Some belated Friday Fictioneers action for ya.