The farmer watched the horse watering his fields by itself and beamed. All of his training was paying off. The chickens laid their eggs and delivered them to the farmhouse now and the sheep had, with some difficulty, been taught to shear themselves. The pigs dutifully fattened themselves up and then, upon reaching a nice, plump size, killed themselves by clutching a knife between their trotters and then falling upon it like porcine Mark Antonys.
The farmer smoked his clay pipe and rubbed his stomach and smiled the content smile of a farmer who had never read any George Orwell.
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Based on the prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for Friday Fictioneers.
Sean Fallon 
33 replies on “Friday Fictioneers: The Farm Animals”
Dear Sean,
Okay, now I have to read Animal Farm. In any case you’ve delivered a delightful piece. Of course I’m trying to envision the sheep shearing each other without opposable thumbs. “Porcine Mark Anthonys”…classic. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks you very much 🙂
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A neat story, and a fun way to end it — I smiled along with the farmer.
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Cheers 🙂
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😆 😆 This is just too cute ❗
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🙂
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I’m taking a break from working on the hardwood floors and this is the perfect break material. I love it. Just wanted to let you know that sheep would “shear” them selves. If they “sheer” themselves, they’d be getting this and the farmer could see through them. That would be bad. 🙂 Now I’m waiting for the pigs to find another use for those knives.
janet
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Good spot on the shear/sheer…My brother in law is a sheep farmer and would have battered me if I’d got that wrong 🙂
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You mean he would have sheared you. 😉
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“like porcine Mark Antonys.”– my favorite line. very clever tale
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My favourite line too 🙂 When I wrote it I felt particularly smug which is always good
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Well, he sure is ‘more equal than others’ if it was only that easy I might give my wife her dream and become a farmer. Of course if those skilful animals were to rebel…..Good story. 🙂
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Thanks very much 🙂
And yeah if the animals were gonna pull their weight farming wouldn’t seem like such hard work
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Wouldnt it be great if this could really happen! Very good story!
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I think it would start great and slowly get terrifying 🙂
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Excellent work. I laughed out loud. George Orwell would be proud.
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Thanks very much:)
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I think I would begin to wonder if the animals could take their bit of training and constitute an overthrow of the human establishment.
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Yeah I think teaching an animal how to wield a knife is always going to end in disaster
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This is hilarious – I’m really enjoying everyone’s take on the prompt this week but this is one of my favourites!
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Thanks very much 🙂
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That’s awesome. It also reminded me of the cows in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe that don’t mind killing themselves at the restaurant.
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Ha! Of course, I knew the pigs reminded me of something but couldn’t think what…Oh well if I’m gonna steal ideas it should be from the best
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Clever, funny, entertaining.
Well done.
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🙂
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God, I love it! That was entirely too clever! Who would have thought a racoon was capable of writing something so hilarious! But they do have nimble little fingers!
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We do indeed 🙂
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Very nice and clever. and it cannot end well for the farmer.
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no but he brought it on himself
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What a witty bunch of fictioneers we are this week.
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Yeah we’re pretty good
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Very funny! I hoped Animal Farm would turn up in this story in the end.
I like this: porcine Mark Antonys.
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That line is one I’m very proud of 🙂
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