Alright, Mr Gray, how’s it going? You been getting up to mischief? Good, lad.

What you been up to? What’s that? You’ve just been lying around on sofas smoking and dispensing witticisms that cut right to the core of another human being while seemingly in jest but actually hiding your true feelings towards the other person, whether those feelings be jealously or rage at the fortune of others when you yourself are steeped in apathy so dense you fear that it will drown you like a lost sailor adrift in an indifferent churning sea?

I see. Me and the missus just got back from a holiday to Blackpool. Not really the same.

Just the usual with the hair? Do you never fancy another style, my lad? I feel like you’ve had the same haircut for a hundred years. Yeah, I guess change is overrated. Anyway, there you go. Pretty as a picture.

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