Alright, mate, take a seat. Been in an accident have we, chief? Because of all the stitches. You don’t remember? Don’t worry about it, as long as you’ve got your health, eh? Whatever doesn’t kill ya and all that. So what’ll it be today? A trim? No problem.
Bit of a mess up here, mate. Looks like some of your hair is permed, some straight, some blonde, some brunette. Yeah, it’s a mixed bag. Been experimenting have we? My eldest is the same, one minute she’s got curly hair, the next minute it’s green. She says she’s trying to find who she is, and I said, have you looked under between the sofa cushions? Cos that’s usually where I find things. Yeah, she didn’t laugh.
Right, so you want this lot sorted? Okey dokey. Looks like a bunch of different people’s hair all sewn onto your bonce, but that’d be mad. Ha! I tell ya you’d be better getting the whole lot shaved off and starting again. Actually, with all the stitches and the mismatched eyes and the grey skin, maybe a skinhead wouldn’t be a good look. A trim it is then!